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Gender Grief Guidance 
with Rev. Louise Purtle

Embracing Every Version
of the One You Love

Hi. I'm Rev. Louise. My pronouns are she/her.

I help individuals and families navigate the world’s new gender geography, embracing the gender identity and gender expression that is best for them. It's a terrain that can be filled with uncertainty and confusion, loss and love. Drawing on my training as a thanatologist, my calling as a minister, and my experience as a parent, I bring a heart-centered approach to those I guide.  

​Change can involve loss. Loss can create grief. And in grief what we often need is someone who will companion us on this part of our life's path. When my family started on our gender journey, I didn’t need someone to judge or advise or fix—I needed someone to listen with compassion, witness with empathy, and travel with me as I discovered what was emotionally true for us.


As a gender guide it is now my life’s work and my great joy to be that person for others.

Rev. Louise Purtle

Gender Grief Guide - Minister - Thanatologist

We are most familiar with the grief we experience when someone we love dies but we can also grieve when someone we love changes an aspect of their identity in a way that causes our relationship with them to change. As the world embraces gender fluidity and recognizes gender identities don’t just come packaged as “boys” and “girls”, families are navigating challenging changes to their relationships with little guidance and few resources.

I offer compassionate, informed companioning and gender guidance. I provide a warm and supportive environment to help you create a road map for your best way forward, addressing issues such as:

  • feelings of loss and grief;

  • relationship conflicts

  • challenged family dynamics

  • spiritual questioning

  • personal boundary violations

  • judgment from third parties

  • lack of knowledge about the gender landscape

  • support for LGBTQ+ individuals and families.

There is no one “right” way to experience grief. And there is no one “right” way to express gender. May the resources you find here guide you on your own journey of finding what is true for you.

What people are saying..

“It was so hard to decipher how much was teenage identity exploration and how much was the emergence of their authentic self. It was exceptionally helpful to have a safe space to process it all.”

- RM

“I couldn't reconcile why I was so distressed. I felt like my brother had died and yet he was right there in front of me. I needed someone to talk to that offered compassion for me, not judgment for him. Thank you!!! ”

- LG

“I wanted to continue to be their loving Nan but I didn't know how to navigate the language, yet alone what to say. You reduced my fear of getting it wrong. You helped bridge the generation gap.”

- WJ

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